The confetti settles, the photographs are framed and everyday life begins. Every year I ask my couples three simple questions to discover what married life has taught them.
Every wedding has a beginning
A wedding day is extraordinary. Months, sometimes years, of planning come together in a few precious hours. There are flowers to arrange, outfits to admire, speeches to survive and dance floors to fill. It’s a day full of excitement, emotion and no small amount of logistics.
And then, almost before you’ve had chance to catch your breath, it’s over. The confetti has been swept away, the dress has been cleaned, the photos have found their place on the wall, and life quietly begins again.
Except it isn’t quite the same life as before. It’s married life.
Three simple questions, one year later
Every year, around my couples’ anniversary…I send them three simple questions.
What’s been the best thing about married life?
What’s something you’ve learned about each other?
What still makes you smile when you think about your wedding day?
I never quite know what the answers will be. Sometimes they’re funny. Sometimes they’re surprisingly profound. Often they’re both.
When the ceremony still rings true
This year, one of my lovely couples, Amy and Faye, replied with words that stopped me in my tracks. When I asked what had been the best thing about married life, they said:
“No matter what life throws at us, we’re a team and we face it together.”
Reading that took me straight back to their ceremony. Not because I could predict the future, but because we’d spent time talking about the kind of relationship they already had.
During their ceremony, we reflected on the idea that marriage isn’t about never facing difficult days. It’s about knowing that when life becomes heavy, someone is there to help carry the weight.
A year later, that’s exactly how they described their marriage.
It’s the ordinary days that matter
Their first year hadn’t been picture-perfect. It had brought new jobs, busy family life, two little girls growing fast and all the beautiful chaos that comes with raising a young family. But underneath it all was the same foundation they’d stood on when they exchanged their vows. They were still choosing each other.
That’s why I love asking these questions. Not because I’m hoping to hear that married life has been effortless. It rarely is. I’m interested in what happens after the photographs have been taken. In the ordinary Tuesdays. The school runs. The shared responsibilities. The little acts of kindness that no one else sees. Because that’s where a marriage is really built.
The wedding day is a celebration of the commitment a couple are making. The marriage is where that commitment quietly becomes part of everyday life.
More than a beautiful memory
Amy also told me that one of the memories that still makes her smile is being surrounded by everyone they love… and, rather wonderfully, my happy tears during the ceremony. I’ll admit, that made me smile too.
Not because I was reminded that I’d cried (I do occasionally get caught out by wonderful humans), but because it reminded me how connected a ceremony can feel when it’s built around real people, real stories and real relationships.
That’s what I hope every ceremony becomes. Not just a beautiful memory from one incredible day, but something that still feels true years later.
The question I’d love every couple to ask themselves
So, if you’ve found yourself here because you’re planning your own wedding, here’s something I’d love you to think about. When you look back on your ceremony in a year’s time, what do you hope you’ll recognise?
Not the flowers. Not the weather. Not whether everything went perfectly. But the feeling that someone truly understood the two of you and reflected that back in front of the people who matter most.
Because if a ceremony still feels true a year later, it was never just about the wedding day. It was always about the marriage.
Every anniversary has its own story. This is the first in my One year on series, where I catch up with couples a year after they say “I do” to discover what life has looked like since.